Happy Birthday Farkus .... I Mean Bryan

 

I just noticed the other day that I did a pretty crappy job of finishing my "31 days of Gratitude" assignment I started, like two years ago. I've now decided that as long as the 31 days are completed before I die, technically my commitment will be met.

Today I'm grateful for my brother Bryan (and not just because it's his birthday tomorrow.) Bryan is two years younger than me and for as long as I can remember he's always been around .... in my face ... for good or bad. I don't remember my life without Bryan in it. Most of my memories of him as a baby and toddler are good. Everyone agreed that he was a pretty good, sweet little kid. I couldn't say his name when I was two years old, so I called him "Pooder," and still do, which we unfortunately found out a few years ago is apparently a Spanish word for a female body part?

Anywhoo ....

Somewhere between 7-9 years old, Bryan morphed from my sweet, pudgy little brother into "Farkus" (you know, the awful bully from the classic movie A Christmas Story?) Farkus: my absolute nemesis and doer of all things sinister and obnoxious in our home. He even looked like Farkus there for awhile .... shaggy strawberry-blond hair, freckles, crazy teeth and had that same laugh that sent chills down my spine every time it echoed through the house. He would do everything from pull (no, wait - YANK) my hair constantly, to leave dried up dog poo under my bed covers, to random punches in the stomach or arm as we passed in the hall, to hanging up on anyone who ever called for me, and the list goes on and on. Carter (my brother 4 years younger than me) and I had to hang tough there together during those years .... and it wasn't easy for either of us, believe me!

But then,the heavens eventually opened, and Farkus slowly disappeared into the ether and was replaced with "Ferris" - the brother who's life is quite similar to Ferris Bueller - things pretty much always go his way. Yes, there were times that I felt like the annoyed older sister, hellbent on disrupting his oh-so-perfect life. But for the most part, I liked Ferris .... he was such a welcome change from Farkus, that none of us were about to complain.

The short version of the story is that somehow, someway ... Bryan went from being someone I loathed to being one of my very best friends in the whole world. He has grown into such an amazing husband, father, friend, uncle, and son that I find myself beaming with pride anytime I get to talk about my brother Bryan.

Ever since high school, I've always known that Bryan had my back, and he knew I had his. He's been more like a big brother to me for the past 20 years - fiercely loyal and protective, always concerned about making sure that I had anything I needed - especially now as a single mom.

Last summer, amidst all of the chaos in my life with the divorce and moving, he would check in with me on a daily basis, helping financially, emotionally, and physically moving the girls and I to Salt Lake and making sure we were okay. After we'd been settled here at my parents for a few weeks, he came up to visit for a night and as he was leaving the next morning, had a sticky note for me with a list of things he wanted me to do the next day, which included opening an account at his bank so that he could easily transfer money to me if I ever needed it, and also to go get a suspicious mole checked on my shoulder that he had noticed when we were at the pool earlier that summer. Even though I was crazy busy with starting a new full-time job and dealing with the divorce, I knew Bryan would bug me about that mole because he had just had one removed a few months back and it was, indeed, Melanoma - which runs in the family between siblings.

I did get it checked, and it turned out mine was Melanoma as well. My doctor at Huntsman Cancer asked me what made me come in to get it checked, and when I told him my little brother insisted, he said "well you need to thank him ... he just might have saved your life if you had let that thing go several years."

So today, I'm grateful for Bryan, and Pooder, and Ferris, and even Farkus .... for saving my life in so many ways, and for teaching me to always keep my chin up and remember that the Farkus's of the world eventually do go away :)

Gratitude: Annie

I know, I know - I'm STILL terrible at posting stuff regularly. Sorry! Anyway, I was thinking about Annie today and how much I absolutely LOVE that little girl! She is a ray of sunshine in my life and everything I imagined when I pictured having a little girl: sugar and spice and everything nice - and a dimple on her right cheek that just melts me every time I see it.

Annie is one of the most loving people I know on planet earth. Seriously! I can be walking from the kitchen to the laundry room and mid-stride, Annie will intercept me and hug my legs tight and say, in an honest and sincere voice, "Mom, I really love you so much." This honestly happens probably four or five times a day, and more on the weekends when she's home. She's a total snuggler, unlike Kate and Halle, and welcomes any opportunity to do so.

Another thing about Annie - she has the strongest skull in the world, which she uses as a weapon and the strength of which has saved her from serious brain damage on several occasions. When she was nine months old, she had to wear a little pink helmet for about three months because the back of her head was getting flat. Apparently she became too comfortable with the helmet, because ever since it came off she's been bonking into things that would flatten any other little girl, but she'll just stand up and rub her head and keep going. I swear, that kid is a magnet for bonking into things!

When she was two, she was napping in one of our playyards in the basement because we had family staying with us, and somehow she climbed out and fell and broke her arm. I love this picture of her with her little pink cast because she was always smiling! It's the same reason I love this picture of her when she was three and had to spend a few nights at Primary Children's Hospital when she was diagnosed with asthma - still smiling!

Annie's also very artistic and very left-brained. It's so fun to watch the two of them tackle a math problem, or cleaning a room, or tying (and eventually not tying) their shoes because they're so opposite. Annie loves to daydream and draw, and when she does it's usually castles, princesses, dragons and knights in shining armor. She's also a pretty good little golfer and has great hand/eye coordination. She inserts words like "actually" "certainly" and "of course" in places where they don't belong when she's speaking, so it will sound something like:

"Hey Mom, did you know actually, that, of course, there's snakes that can, of course, live in the ocean?"

"No Annie, I actually didn't know that!"

"Well that would definitley freak me out to, you know, be certainly swimming next to one. I would be like "ahhhhh" and then swim away as far, far away as possible! Whew that would be scarry!! I would definitley NOT want to see a snake in the water! Oh, and did you know that, of course, the human head weighs eight pounds?"

Love that kid!

Gratitude: Kate

I've been so bad about not posting lately, and the guilt has finally caught up with me. I am so grateful for Kate - my spunky little 6 year old, my middle child (by one minute!)and my kid who always keeps things interesting around our house! Kate is a very thoughtful, clever little girl. She is my biggest helper and loves teaching Halle new things. She also loves to see how much she can get away with and can talk Annie into just about anything. Kate is the family Nark - I swear that girl even tattle tells in her sleep! She loves to read and write short stories and has darn near perfect handwriting.

The other day, she was reading one of her chapter books for school (29 chapters - geez!) and after she had gone to bed, I came downstairs, and on the sofa where she had been reading, I found her book with a little sticky note inside, with the word "interesting" (spelled "entresting") written in yellow highlighter. The next morning I asked her why she did that, and she said her teacher mentioned that it's a good idea to make notes while you read and she thought that page was interesting. Love it!

And a few weeks ago, their school celebrated "100 days left of school" and she brought home this "100 Day Activities" worksheet. The italicized words are the words she used to fill in the blanks:

I wish I had 100: toys. I wish I had 100: candy. I wish I had 100: dreams in one nigt. But I would not want 100: hollahoops.

I could eat 100: ice cream paks. I could eat 100: mackorony. I could eat 100: jello salid. But I could never eat 100: persons.

I could hold 100: hamsters. I could do 100: flips on the bing bag. I could make 100: chocklate pretsles. But I could never: eat 100: poop.

Priceless!

Gratitude: World's Best Dad

Well here we are on the 24th of December and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! And it's not because I'm excited about anything I may or may not get - in fact, that's one of the beauties of having a "financially challenged" Christmas budget for each other - our expectations are really low which frees us up to focus on the giving to others instead of the getting.



I was just thinking this morning that I hadn't posted in a few days and that I still had so many people to post about, when I checked our voicemail and there was a message from my Dad saying "just calling to wish you all a Merry Christmas and tell you I love you." This is the same Dad who we will see in just a few short hours for Christmas Eve dinner, so it's not like he lives half way across the country and had to call to wish us Merry Christmas. He just gets caught up in the Christmas spirit and had to share it - that's so my Dad!


Most of you have met my Dad and if you haven't then I'm sorry for you because he is truly one of the kindest, most easy going people you'll ever meet. He's the guy who whistles almost 24/7, smiles at complete strangers, can sit down and play the guitar and piano beautifully, by ear miind you, and never gets too fired up about anything (unless it has something to do with the Utes - then watch out!) He is so humble and yet so disciplined about certain things. He's the guy who you'll be talking to one Friday evening and asking him what he's doing the following morning and he'll say "oh just gonna go run a little marathon." How am I related to this person?

This is the same guy who accidentaly drove a golf cart into wet cement as the contruction workers who had just poured the cement watched. He's also the guy who cheerfully used to ask "who's this?" when I - his only daughter - would call him and say "Hi Dad" on the phone. He's actually gotten better about that - I think he's been practicing or something.

That's just my Dad - mellow, kind, cheerful, a little flighty sometimes but always means well and does it with a smile. I love him so very much and love watching my girls with him as well. He's a wonderful Grandpa and would really do anything (except change a diaper) for his grandkids.

Merry Christmas Dad - you truly are the best Dad a girl could ever hope for!

Gratitude: Old pianos and older friends

Santa came early to our house yesterday - well, sort of! My good friend Ali (whose been a friend since I was a Brownie!) had our old piano delivered to us yesterday morning. My Grandma Osborn gave us this piano when I was six or seven years old and I immediately became addicted to playing it. I took lessons for several years, but soon realized that I got more enjoyment from just playing by ear - like my Dad does. I loved going down stairs in my parents basement and always having that piano there to welcome me. It has got to be at least 100 years old and sounds horrible compared to a good piano, but I never cared. It's the perfect piano to have with little kids around because there's nothing they can do to hurt it, and besides, I think it's charming!

When my parents moved about 10 years ago, they no longer had room for it and gave it to me and Eric. Then when Eric and I moved into our Sugarhouse home about eight years ago, we didn't have room for it either. Ali, who needed a piano at the time for her darling little girls, helped us out and gave it a home. I honestly didn't think we'd really ever need it again and didn't think too much more about. I was happy that it was in a good home with little girls who loved playing it as much as I did.

In the midst of the financial roller coaster that we've been on over the last seven years, Santa brought me a beautiful baby grand piano several years ago, which later had to be sold to help get us through some difficult months earlier this year. We were hoping to be able to get another, less expensive piano in the near future, but I wasn't holding my breath. So it was such a blessing to get Ali's phone call last week telling us that they were buying her Aunt's piano and wondering if we wanted my old one back.

If I didn't know any better, Ali (my friend on the left - Nic's the one on the right) probably got wind of our "pianoless" state and decided to buy her Aunt's piano in order to have a reason to give ours back. She's always been a wonderful friend to me, and even though we can go months and months without contact, I always feel like she's there for me - through good times and bad. Thanks a lot Ali! Now I need to stop crying and go over there are start playing that piano!

Gratitude: "All I Want Is You Mom"

Yesterday I asked Kate what she wanted for Christmas, just to see if her list has stayed the same, and she gave me a big hug and said with her goofy face "All I want is you Mom!" Now I'm smart enough to know that she was on a little sugar high from the candy she was eating at the time, and anyone who knows Kate knows that she can get a little silly sometimes. But it did make me stop and think for a minute about how true it really is - amidst all of the holiday craziness that seems to surround us at Christmas, all our kids really want is more time with us.

I had been looking at past Christmas pictures earlier in the day and couldn't hold back the tears as I realized how quickly they're growing up and how fleeting these little moments are. I realize that the best gift I can give my kids this year and every year is my time, my unconditional love and my attention (even when I have a million other things to do!)

Gratitude: Tutus and tiaras

I'm sorry, but there's just nothing cuter than a little girl in a tutu and a tiara! No wait, there is - lots of little girls dressed up in tutus and tiaras!

Halle had her first dance recital last Saturday night and did such a great job. We were really only expecting her to stand up there and pick her nose (which would have been okay 'cause she looked so dang cute in her costume, who cares?) but she actually danced and had fun. Her cousin Camryn also performed and was, of course, wonderful too.

These pictures just remind me of how much I love having little girls and all of the fun and frills that come along with it. I do realize that ten years from now we'll be living in a state of drama and tears 24/7, which makes these pictures all the more precious!

Gratitude: Grandma "O" (my wonderful Mom!)

To say that I am only grateful for my mom at Christmas time would be a lie. We are grateful for her 365 days a year, and if my kids had their way, that's how many days they would get to go to her house! But there's something extra special about my mom's house at Christmas time. Her already beautiful, comforting home is transformed into a magical Christmas wonderland made specifically for her grandkids. It's every kids dream - full of twinkle lights, vintage toys, singing snowmen and candles lit for the sole purpose of letting the grandkids blow them out.

She has this special "grandkids" room that has a lot of our old toys in there, like my old dollhouse that she and her mom made for me one Christmas, and my little wooden cupboard, and Carter's space shuttle - it's awesome!

Some days, I feel like my mom was put on this earth just to be a grandma - she's that good! Since Eric's mom passed away while I was pregnant with the twins, my mom has had to do double duty as grandma, and even though I've told her this a million times, I know that Grandma Linda is grateful to my mom for making up the difference.

My mom has been there for us through thick and thin and is involved in almost every aspect of our girls lives. I see what a difference it makes to my kids have such a wonderful grandma who is so interested in them and gives them such unconditional love. Thanks Mom - you're the best!!!

Gratitude: Amy and Janalyn

Today I was very grateful for the two awesome women my little brothers were fortunate enough to marry: Amy and Janalyn. I was thinking about them as I was driving over to Amy's house this morning. Amy babysits Halle for me every Wednesday so that I can volunteer in the girls' classes. I was thinking about how lucky I am to actually LIKE the girls my brothers married, let alone be able to call them two of my very best friends! Since I grew up without a sister, I had always dreamed of having one. I don't think I knew what I was missing out on until my brothers got married: first Carter to Amy, then a few years later Bryan married Janalyn. I admire so many things about both of them. Amy is one of the most laid back, easy going people I've ever met. She's a little more on the quiet side and is definitely not one show off or put herself in the limelight. I think her worst fear is speaking in public, especially in church! She is loyal, genuine and would do anything for her family. She shares Carter's love of all things football - specifically Utah and Oregon and is one of the most dedicated mom's I know.




And Janalyn, well, what's not to like about Janalyn? She's spunky, vivacious and always has something funny to say. One of the first things I remember noticing about Janalyn was what a great listener she is: whenever you talk to her she makes you feel like she totally understands and hears every word you said. When Bryan lost his best friend Cam, almost four years ago in a snowmobiling accident, Janalyn was there for him 24/7 just listening - which was exactely what my little brother needed. And for as stylish and put together she may seem on the outside, one of the her best qualities is that she'll be the first one to poke fun at herself and won't stop until everyone in the room is laughing! She's a great singer (she even played "Annie" when she was little!) served a mission in Brazil and can shop like nobody's business! Like Amy, she too helps me out with my girls when I need it (our whole family lives within 5 minutes of each other - how cool is that?)

They both are amazing people and I am so blessed to have them in my life. And the best part is, I have several other amazing sisters-in-law on the Smith side of the family who warrant an entirely separate post to this blog, so stay tuned!

Gratitude: Christmas Music

This weekend I was grateful for Christmas music and the ability it has to bring peace and even, yes, Christmas cheer to a snippy conversation with my husband.

For example, Eric and I were driving in the car with the kids, on our way home from a "lovely" afternoon spent waiting in line to see Santa and get pictures. Eric was THRILLED that he had a chance to wait in that marvelous line and got just a little bugged with a nice lady in front of us let another family "butt" in line. I'm sure you can see how this ended - no, there wasn't a brawl, but Eric just couldn't resist confronting the lady and I was mortified and the rest is history.

Needless to say, we were both bugged at each other in the car, and just at the right moment "Frosty The Snowman" came on the radio. Now I'm someone who was raised by a mother who started playing Christmas music in September. I physically can't help singing or humming Christmas Carols in the car - especially Frosty The Snowman. And apparently Eric can't resist either. So before you knew it, we were both singing loud for all to hear and there was peace in the land.

Thank you Frosty!!!